I’ve got more than a few things that inspire me in recovery. But I think it’s two-fold mainly. One I want to enjoy food and have a healthy relationship with food. I want to not feel the need to control food and I don’t want to feel out of control around food. I want to feel in balance and happy with food. I want to eat when I’m hungry, happy, sad, neutral, alone, with friends, at night, in the morning, after I go to the gym, or after I don’t go to the gym. But I want to do it happily and because food is just another part of my day.
I think the best place to be at with food is to be where you can eat and then move on from it. That meal doesn’t become an obsession until you eat again and it’s not something you judge yourself over. It’s just food.
The other side of the coin is WHO inspires me in recovery. And that falls on my friends. My friends are what keep me going and keep me accountable. They keep me meeting up for coffee and they keep me going out for dinner. They keep me engaged in recovery-minded activities.
I have had many different friend groups throughout treatment and recovery. These two pictures don’t encompass everyone who has been there along my journey. And I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that friendships with other people with Eating Disorders are really tough. And it’s hard to maintain your own recovery when you’re trying to pull a friend out of a relapse. You always have to focus on your recovery before you can help with someone else’s. And if people in your life move on because you remind them of recovery too much let them go. Let them recover for themselves.
You are not responsible for everyone. That is a tough lesson I’ve had to learn. You can only do so much.
So what inspires me in recovery? My want for a healthy relationship with food, my support system, and the promise of more smiles and giggles when my time isn’t taken up with food thoughts.